To Be Honest

To self-aware trust-builders, “to be honest” is a red flag. And so are its cousins “in truth,” “being straight with you,” and other similar opening phrases. These filler words often sound harmless but can subtly plant seeds in listeners’ minds that what preceded this declaration wasn’t as straightforward as what comes next.

And often, they’re right, which is why we say these things in the first place. Subconsciously, we catch ourselves dancing around or dodging a subject and then, in a vulnerable moment, decide to reveal the core truth.

This isn’t all bad. It shows we want to come clean with the other person, hold ourselves to a high standard, and dig deeper. But frequent use of such phrases can do more harm than good. Human brains are tenacious pattern recognizers; others around you are filing away any overuse of “let me level with you” and “candidly.”

Am I just being nitpicky here? To be honest, maybe. Do I want you to become conscious of the words you use? Yes. For 30 days, I invite you to be intentional with your language because that’s long enough to make a significant difference in your meaningful relationships.

Listen to how often you use these phrases for the next month. Don’t worry about editing yourself as you go. Soon, you will begin to share your thoughts without a preamble.

Listen for:

I gotta be honest here; I’m uncomfortable with how you treated me yesterday.

Straight shooting, I see several risks with what you’re planning.

In truth, I find you very handsome.

Without the intros, the sentences above would have been much more effective. Do you agree? It’s more direct than you may be used to or are comfortable with, but with practice, you’ll find it more impactful and refreshing to speak your mind more freely. And as your new habit forms, you’ll spend less time in guarded or “safe” conversation mode.

This change can make you much more trustworthy in others’ eyes because you allow them (and you!) to experience your authenticity.

To be honest, you’re worth it!